Just moments ago you declared your 2 biggest mistakes are the cat and the phone. Now you're playing and cuddling with the cat, and you just got off the phone. I don't understand why you've been so unhappy and so depressed of late. I really don't get it. I finally confront you, I say you've got everything you can possibly want in your life, why aren't you content and happy like you used to be. You say you just want him to be with you. I tell you its impossible, why do you want and wish for something that's impossible and end up making yourself so depressed. You start to cry. I walk away angrily. What am I to do? I'll probably get retribution for this, but I'm a firm believer of making and finding your own happiness. You've always been so strong for the last 10 years and then SUDDENLY you're so unhappy. Is it cos you're getting old? I don't know how to help you, I can't bring people back from the dead. I wish you'll accept that and focus on what you currently have. I don't know about you, but I've done nothing but try to give you as good a life as I can manage. I work in a decent paying job doing meaningful things that I chose for myself, I stopped taking allowance from you. You don't have to work, because I don't want you to, because you're not as healthy as you used to be. I give you 60% of my salary every month to keep things going. I bring you out, spend time with you, talk to you, bring your abroad. But all you've been is nothing but unhappy. Why? Why do I have to deal with an unhappy you. Why are you unhappy? Because you want something you cannot have. Why. I'm already trying my very best. When we were overseas you made life so difficult for everything and I had to work extra hard to assure you had as best a time.. As you allowed yourself to have. I've been as patient as I possibly could with you and yet you get angry with me for not getting everything your way. Nowadays you lose your temper and throw a tantru over a non-existent problem. Just the other day, because you didn't manage to flag the first cab you made an attempt for, you starting to whine that this next cab is a bad driver and that you didn't want to board. Its completely ridiculous. I ask you why, you said you had a feeling. I force you into the cab anyway, and immediately you calm down. What is wrong with you? At this rate I might just kill myself cos I'm so fucking stressed up. I don't know how to make you happy anymore and you're just going to hold it against me forever. Maybe if I killed myself it'll make you feel better, so you don't have someone to hate for living instead of the person you wished for. Why can't you just see what you have and be grateful? Why can't you just open your mind and take to new things with a positive attitude? I'm going nuts omg. If this goes on I might really just do something drastic cos I can't take all this stress. You've being really mean to me, and I already take a fair load of shit at work. I come home and then you throw more shit on me. Why do you do that? Its just so, so mean of you. Do you hate me that much? If not why do you keep doing this to me?